Write Concisely

New Year’s Day [1]. A time to make commitments for self-improvement and then break them [2] a week later. I have one I’m going to keep.

My resolution is to speak and write concisely and correctly. While filler [3] and disfluencies [4] are excusable in speech, in print they are intolerable. Rewriting is writing [5], so the standards are higher because you can polish your work easily. “Kinda,” “sort of,” “like,” “more than,” and “less than” have no place in writing. If I ever use “in all circumstances that I know of,” yell at me to replace it with “always.” More examples:

• Don’t say “America has over 300 million people,” say “America has 300 million people.” We know what you mean.

• Use “always” and “never.” English is a language for humans, not computers—treat it as such. If you are wrong, plenty of people would love to correct you.

• We have plenty of words already; don’t make new ones up. “Servers” are waiters and waitresses. A “chair” is a chairman or chairwoman. Unless you are referring to a woman or women specifically, he, waiter, and chairman will do just fine. Don’t use they [6] in place of he; it’s imprecise and dehumanizing. Gender inclusivity is a crock [7].

• Don’t use “special” to describe the retarded. It takes away from people who really are special [8].

• All our jungles have disappeared and been replaced with rainforests, while all our swamps have become wetlands. How did this happen?

• People are not sewers! Have a little respect for our tailors and seamstresses.

A lot of the Newspeak [9] doesn’t even make sense. What is a “flight attendant” anyway? I know what a steward [10] is (female: stewardesses), but isn’t a flight attendant anyone who has ever been on (attended [11]) a plane?

English is losing its humanity. Don’t let them steal our language.